Weekly Clergy Letter from Mother Abbott

On Tuesday, I arrived at Grace for my “first day of school.” I’ve been wholeheartedly welcomed by staff and the few parishioners I’ve encountered as I’ve walked the halls, and I’m looking forward to more introductions this weekend at Shrine Mont. Much of this week, however, has been about the nitty-gritty, logistical onboarding. Getting a computer, setting up email, getting access to folders and files, learning how to use the phone on my desk (I still don’t know how to use the phone on my desk!), getting a sense of who does what, and navigating my way around the building without getting turned around (I still get turned around!). There is so much I don’t know, not just about the logistics, details, and systems at Grace, but about y’all, as individuals, as communities within the large community of Grace, and Grace as a whole.

It recalls to mind a game I sometimes play when I’m leading workshops and retreats. It’s the, “I don’t know” game, and it’s done with partners. It begins with one person naming all the things that come to mind that they don’t know about the other person. The questions can be anything from the mundane to the profound.  “I don’t know… your favorite color, what toothpaste you use, your favorite meal… I don’t know what makes you smile, what your favorite Bible story is, what last made you laugh, what last made you cry…” This goes on for 1-2 minutes while the other person just listens without responding verbally to answer any of the questions. Then the partners switch, and the other person does the same for 1-2 minutes.

There are always a wide variety of responses to this game, and all of them are welcome and valid. Sometimes there’s frustration at not getting answers to the questions that have been asked. Sometimes there’s longing to share, or relief in not having to share, answers to the questions asked. Often it awakens a deeper sense of curiosity and wonder about the other person. Often there’s a profound sense of being honored in the implicit desire to know more and acknowledgement that, whether we’re meeting for the first time or have “known” each other for years, we are so much more than what sits at the surface.

When Jesus told his disciples, “I have called you friends,” he does so in the context of his commandment to love one another as he has loved them. He encourages them to remain in his love that their joy may be complete, and he assures them that they know something about what he has been up to in the world on behalf of the Father. Something that has to do with bearing fruit. With love.

To love in the way of Jesus, it seems, also has something to do with knowing. Not the knowing of stuff and things like information and details, but the knowing that entails a deeper sense of appreciation, perception, and understanding. The type of knowing that is evoked from a place of curiosity and wonder. The type of knowing that honors.

We are all so much more than what sits at the surface. We are all so much more than the ways we’ve “filled in the blanks” about each other, whether consciously or unconsciously. We are all only fully and completely known by God, so one of the ways we bear fruit in our love is to seek to know with a deeper sense of appreciation, perception, and understanding.

As I am getting to know you and you me over the precious time we have together, I invite us all to (continue to) get to know one another from a place of curiosity and wonder, trusting that each and every one of us, whether known and unknown, is held in the heart of God with a love that knows no bounds.

 -Mother Abbott